The Legacy of a (golf) teacher…
‘My’ golf pro succumbed to cancer this last week. Dave was a pro’s pro. He was ultimately professional in how he went about his business. He ‘taught’ golf. His legacy was so much more…
…for Dave was truly a teacher. He was many people’s pro – and some never even played golf. Everyone Dave touched, learned. Listening to the people who spoke at his memorial, it was clear that I was not alone in realizing that Dave had taught me about life, about overcoming limitation, about myself.
Dave would pull up to my car in the golf cart, and that genuine smile of his would help me separate the stress of my day from the special ‘space’ of my lesson. Dave’s smile and energy would center me, prepare me to learn…
…with that contagious smile, his gentle way, the gleam in his eye – and being the big strong man’s man that he was. He was always positive, helpful, and kind. The worst of shots would get a positive, hopeful comment. And some constructive criticism, some instruction, something – golf-related or otherwise – that would make my game (of golf and life) better…
… like at our third or fourth lesson in a package of 12, Dave asked me if I really wanted to get good at golf. “Of course, that’s why I’m here!” I said. He took me back to look at the video monitor showing me set up over the ball from behind, and said, smiling: “Well, then you might want to start by losing that 40 pounds of flab hanging over your belt!”
And, I did.
I lost the 40 pounds, I got into shape, and I made a friend for life. Something clicked in the way he said it. Or the belief that I’d get good at golf, perhaps. Doesn’t matter, I am happier and healthier for it, for having had Dave in my life.
As my golf mates will attest, I am still a pretty bad golfer – though better than I was. And, I learned Dave’s lessons of life because he lived them, he believed in them, and he taught them just by being Dave. He will be sorely missed by many, and …
…his legacy of unconditional support, of joy in golf and life, of helping people to enjoy themselves more – these lessons that Dave embodied – now live in me and hundreds if not thousands of others whose paths he crossed on the course, on the range, at his church, being the devoted husband to his beloved wife, or simply being the man he was in the community.
Dave’s work was his passion. He loved golf, and he loved teaching even more. It got me to thinking…
- Why do we work?
- Why do we build businesses, companies, organizations?
- What do we want to leave behind?
- What is our purpose in life?
These are questions that philosophers and pundits have been debating for the millennia. And there are no right answers…
…as the saying goes: We work to live – or make a living. We do not live to work. In spite of all our conveniences like smart phones and Facebook to stay in touch, giving us access to information and each other as never before, we are busier and more stressed than ever. We work 24/7 it seems. Most of us ‘have to’ work. We need to eat! We work to provide for our families; to give ourselves better, easier lives. And, we spend more time at work than we do at any other single endeavor – at least in our ‘most productive years’ – to put food on the table and leave a future for ourselves and our heirs….
…and ‘work’ must be something more than a ‘way to provide’. We give too much of our lives to work for it to be just that. I believe that we work, we build, we learn and grow – because it allows us to ‘create’, to fulfill some known or unknown purpose – to leave our mark, our legacy.
Many people believe that creating is the driving force for us all. Some of us work to bring meaning to our lives – as it is where we express our talent, answer our calling. Work is where we make our contribution…
…and those of us who lead others, who are responsible for providing ‘work’ for others, certainly can see evidence that many people do not put their full energies into their work. They neither think about ‘creation’ nor see their jobs as their calling. At the worst, they ‘mail it in’, don’t apply themselves, and need constant supervision. We can believe in that as ‘the truth’, or we can choose to see it another way:
For a lucky few leaders like you, that is where your more lasting legacy begins. That is where you can make your contribution – helping others to find a way to create, to contribute, to feel good about themselves and the work that they do, like Dave did…
…Dave knew what many people strive to learn: Give people unconditional support and kindness (some say love), help them find their own way to do what they do well, give the jobs they do dignity and meaning – in even the most menial of tasks - and you will see them blossom. You will be rewarded by their growth and joy; your enterprise will be rewarded with the very profitable fruits of committed effort on your business’s behalf. Everyone wins!
This is leadership. This is Emotional Intelligence applied very powerfully. This is the true legacy for us all – making a difference in people’s lives in a positive way.
Thanks to many teachers in my life, Dave, of which you are the most recent, I strive to make this world a happier, more fulfilling place – as you did, as you showed me how to do, just by being you. I know there are many more who will perpetuate your legacy as well.
Rest in peace, my friend, Dave. I am eternally grateful for the lessons you taught – and even some of the golf!
We at ThirdLEVEL would love to hear your thoughts in the comment box provided below on people who have taught you about your life? Also, how are you bringing EQ into your life.
